Week 6: How do you cheer yourself up when you’re down?
I have some exciting things on the horizon as well as some less exciting, very stressful things coming up. I feel a little dizzy and off-balance, though nothing on this road ahead is unmanageable. I know I can face the challenges and excitement because I’m equipped for this. I’ve had practice. I’ve failed at this many times in my past. If there is a consolation prize to getting older, it’s that my (figurative) backbone has only strengthened over time. [We won’t talk about my literal back bones.]
Here are some of my go-to positivity techniques.
1.) Talk it out. Or don’t. When I feel overwhelmed, the first thing I ask myself is, “Do you need to say this out loud?” Depending on my stressor, I need to either pour out my soul (usually to my mom or my husband) or I need alone time. There is no casual in-between with me. In cases where the weight of my fear or concern is too much for me to keep to myself, even if I fully intend to solve the problem on my own, I just need to verbalize my feelings. However, there are also times when those things that are getting me down feel more secure in my silence. In those cases, I turn straight to prayer. There is peace in silent meditation and even greater resolve knowing that I am never alone, no matter the burden I bear.
2.) Seek comfort. For me, this means closing my eyes and asking myself, “What sounds soothing right now?” Sometimes, my answer is as simple as grabbing my favorite oversized sweatshirt, curling up under a blanket, and turning on 30 Rock. [30 Rock is my comfort show. Always and forever. Liz Lemon is… me.] Other times, I turn to yoga and lay in shavasana for as long as I can. I also love to bake. I can spend hours alone in the kitchen; laser-focused on a loaf of bread or pastry without one intrusive thought… well, at least until it goes in the oven.
3.) Let myself dream. When I’m anxious, my instinct is to shut down and shut myself off from everything. But I’ve discovered that when I do this, I spiral, nothing gets accomplished, and problems don’t get solved. Admittedly, this mode of positivity—dreaming—has been challenging to learn and even harder to put into practice. But when I allow (sometimes by force) my brain to think beyond whatever is holding me in place, I can breathe a little better. I’m talking about realistic dreams (like planning an outfit to wear to an event) and my improbable dreams. There is no limit when I need to pull myself out of negative thoughts.
Maybe this is helpful. Maybe it isn’t. I’ve experienced depression and anxiety before and not one piece of advice was helpful to me at that time. I remember being told, “If you make yourself smile, you’ll instantly feel better.” I gave it a try and felt even worse. Truly, I regret not seeking help/therapy because that time feels lost to me. Even though I’m currently pretty good at dealing with/side-stepping those invasive, hurtful thoughts, I know I’m not guaranteed that I won’t experience those challenges again. So, I’ll just end this by saying that it’s okay for these positivity tricks not to work. There are professionals that understand what you’re experiencing better than I ever can. If you are struggling, there is no shame in seeking help. There is, however, hope.
