Week 13: Describe why you haven’t followed that dream. If you have, write about the challenges.

Ouch. If you read my blog post before this, just ouch. My biggest, wildest dream that I described was peace for all. Not just a simple world peace or peace between nations but a peace so powerful its only definition is heaven.

And now, I’ve set myself up to explain why I haven’t followed that dream? I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. I know the answer. I know it immediately. I know it so well that it follows me around each and every day, poking me in the shoulder and giving me side eye. I haven’t followed my biggest, wildest dream because I’m complacent and scared to help.

I remember once when I was walking home from work in Manhattan, I walked past a woman who was laying on the ground covered in a sleeping bag. This wasn’t uncommon in my walk, and truthfully, I learned to ignore people like this man. But this time, I had an unopened bottle of water in my bag. As I walked past, I had this intense urge to just hand her the water, and I did, and she was appreciative. That should have been a turning point for me. I felt like I had really done something. I felt so proud of myself. As I rounded the corner, it hit me—this wasn’t heroic. I just did something nice for one person, and I am surrounded by people just like her. Why her? Why not the others?

For a few weeks after this, I started carrying a bottle of water just in case. I gave away maybe two or three more in my entire time in New York. It was the actual least I could do. The very least.

Cut to today. I’m older. I have savings. I still rarely share unless prompted. Unfortunately, I don’t have much more to add beyond the very clear fact that I haven’t followed my dream because I haven’t helped others.  

If this week’s theme wasn’t a wake-up call, I don’t know if I’ll ever get one. I can do more. I may not ever see my big, wild dream come to life, but I can contribute.