Week 4: Share the worst advice you’ve ever received
Probably one of the most relatable qualities of our human experience is being subjected to terrible advice by friends, family and strangers alike. I’m sure I am guilty of offering bad advice. I’m sure we all are. This is our shared experience, and I know this to be true because we are not born with wisdom. Unfortunately for some, wisdom is never acquired.
I can’t think of the “worst” advice I’ve received, but I can think of a few doozies.
Enter: A bulleted list.
“Have kids while you’re young.” This was shared with me when I was 27 and very single. That ship sailed, ma’am. It’s still sailing, and quite honestly, I’m fine with it. (This is not my way of saying I don’t want kids, but that I’m really happy with the trajectory of my life.)
“Enjoy this. You’ll never get a raise like this again.” I got a 10% raise (from a barely-getting-by salary to making a livable wage, fyi) and the woman who shared the news with me clearly did not want me to take even a second to revel in a pretty sweet promotion.
“You should stick to classical singing.” Psh! Girl, bye. I still sing classically, but only when I feel like it. The world is my oyster, and I can sing whatever I want (and sing it well, thank you.)
Side note: I have received, and heard secondhand, a lifetime supply of bad singing technique, weak performance direction, and inaccurate vocal health advice. When your mother is a speech pathologist, and you were taught by truly incredible voice teachers for years and years, you can easily discern the good advice from the bad. My sister is a speech pathologist now as well. I have many experts in my court.
“Rinse raw chicken.” I’ll just leave this here.
“Tell him that either he needs to propose or you’re out.” I did not do this, by the way. I didn’t even consider it. In my mind, ultimatums are unhealthy and should only be reserved for last resort situations. Ps. He proposed on his own, when we were both ready. I love our story.
“Use tanning oil. You’ll get tan so fast.” Worst burn of my life.
I’m sure I’ll think of more of these as I struggle to fall asleep tonight. but it also made me think of some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
“On your final note, hold the straight tone, crescendo, and sneak in the vibrato.” Works like a charm every time.
“Compliment them for their performance, good or bad. It takes a lot of courage to stand in front of a crowd.”
“Look for little beautiful moments every day.” This has really helped me through the pandemic.
“Don’t ever stop singing.” This was said to me very recently by someone I admire. I was home for the holidays, and she asked if I had sung anywhere recently. I said, “No. It’s been a few years. Covid made it even harder to find time.” Her response was something along the lines of, “No! Don’t ever stop. You’ve got to keep singing.”
That last one—those words—inspired this entire 52 Weeks of Writing series. I couldn’t get it out of my head. All these things I loved to do; I’d stopped doing them. I want to take back what was always mine.
