Week 2: Begin with “When I was a child…”
When I was a child, I was terrified of dogs. As in, jumped onto my dad’s shoulders as we were leaving a store because I saw a small, leashed dog approaching us-terrified. In fact, that was the moment that my parents decided that therapy was in my future.
I didn’t go to sleepovers when I knew my friend had a dog in their home. I stayed inside if I heard a dog’s bark outside. My most egregious, fear-induced reaction was when I was playing outside at my grandparents’ house with my sister, and I saw a large, fluffy dog running in our direction. I booked it to get inside and locked my sister out. My grandmother was ready to feed me to that dog after that.
Anyway, I got therapy. I don’t remember how long I was in therapy or what I learned exactly, but I remember playing a lot of games. My goal was to face my fear and pet a dog, and if I did this, I would finally get Space Jam on VHS. And I really wanted Space Jam. If I do the math [insert 1980s computer noises], I was around 11 years old when I was ready to pet my best friend’s golden retriever.
Almost 25 years ago, I faced my fear. Today, I still have my moments. I love dogs now, but I have to warm up to them before I exhibit normal behaviors like gushing over how cute they are and squishing their faces. Similar to my fear of babies (another story for another day), I need time to establish a relationship with the dog before I feel like I trust it. If we meet while said dog is a puppy, we’re instant BFFs. So, I have exceptions to my rule. Large dogs, however, still give me pause, inviting my childhood fear back into my chest.
When I go for a walk and I see a strange dog approaching me, internally I’m probably panicking. However, I’ve learned to (somewhat) control my external reaction.
I wish I had a dramatic story to share about the time a dog bit off my nose or something to make my fear less irrational. Alas, I have my original nose, and I’m pretty sure my fear came from the vicious (albeit animated) dogs in Bambi.
Did anyone escape their childhood without some kind of Bambi-induced trauma?
