23. Write about an experience that changed your perspective

I grew up in the South. I grew up in a very small, very sheltered bubble in the southern United States. It wasn't until I stepped out of my comfort zone that I discovered just how sheltered I was.

I've, of course, had a myriad of experiences that were game-changers, but moving to New York City was an education for me.

I became acquainted with people of different faiths, people of different economic upbringings, and people from different countries and cultures. It was overwhelming at first. I remember wanting to crawl back under my rock and hide from the truths of the world.

I wanted to stay in my bubble where it felt easy, and where I felt like I was always right and had nothing to prove.

Oddly enough, at the same time as I was trying to find my way in a new city, the world I left behind was beating me up as well. Suddenly, I wasn't "good" anymore. Because of where I was living, there were people back home who felt like I was living some kind of heathen lifestyle, judging me purely on where I lived, and maybe also because I voted for Hillary.

The assumptions that were made about me were really confusing to me. I was living my life just as I had before, but now in a new city. Friends would call me to see if I was still going to church. People from my home church would say things to my mother suggesting I was living some wild and crazy lifestyle, even though, I was definitely not. I quickly learned who truly knew me and who did not. And if they thought this of me, someone they'd known for nearly 30 years, what did they think of people they'd never met?

With these judgments made against me, I realized that any judgment I'd cast on others was unfair.

Not too long after my first visit back home, I felt a major shift in my own thinking. That "small world" we talk about suggests that in our differences we are still very much the same. As true as that might be, I have learned that there are people who refuse to accept that, people who think their lives/choices/experiences are superior to those they've never met. With the judgments made against me by people who should have known me, I realized that any judgment I'd cast on others was unfair.

People grow. People change. People think and act independently. We live through different experiences, traumas, and teachings. The best I can do is be kind, be a friend, and be present.

I wouldn't trade my time in New York for anything. My identity might have originated in the south, but it is not defined by that alone.